Christmas, more than any other time of the year, invites us to treasure the gift of family. Consider your favorite Christmas movies and the centrality of family to those stories—from “It’s a Wonderful Life” and “A Christmas Story” to “Elf” and even “Christmas Vacation.” There aren’t many Christmas movies where family doesn’t provide the context within which the great, and often hilarious, drama plays out.
No doubt, we all encounter a wide range of difficulties in our families, sometimes serious enough that we must maintain a healthy separation. But our hearts still long for the connectedness that family provides. It’s the way we’re hardwired. Our lives are meant to be shared. It’s within relationships that we reach our full potential and experience true joy.
Christians know well the account of Jesus’ nativity and the centrality of family to the Christmas story. In the Catholic Church, family is understood as so holy and essential to the saving mission of Jesus Christ that this Sunday, in the midst of the Christmas season, we celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family. It remind us of the indispensable and sacred role of parents, the fundamental role families play in building up society, and the infinite value of every human person.
But if we look around, do we see a society that truly values family? Is ours a society that collectively sacrifices for the sake of building strong healthy families?
These are always important questions deserving of our consideration, but with the beginning of our state legislative session just nine days away, the moment is particularly appropriate for us to take a deeper look and assess how well our public policies are supporting families. The urgency is only escalated by the fact that we now see birth rates in this country at an all-time low with serious consequences on the horizon.
Earlier this month when I was in D.C. I attended a talk given by Timothy Carney, the author of multiple articles and books including, Family Unfriendly: How Our Culture Made Raising Kids Much Harder Than It Needs to Be. As not only a husband and father but also one who works in the public policy arena, I found the author’s subject to be very pertinent and the examination of these issues essential for our cultural moment. My copy of the book just arrived last week, and I expect it will make for some interesting reading.
I walked away from Timothy’s talk with much to reflect on, but one thing in particular stuck with me, perhaps because I can so easily relate. He said, “parenting is a cheat code for sainthood.” He mentioned Matthew 25:35-46 and Jesus’ command to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit the sick, etc. And, as a father of young children, he joked that every day he wakes up and there are naked hungry people in need right in his own house. All of us in the room laughed, but there’s more than just a kernel of truth in what he said.
Parenthood really is a training ground for our growth in virtue. Certainly, it is not the only way people grow in virtue and reach their full potential. Not all are called, or able, to be parents. But it is the indispensable vehicle through which most of us are challenged to stretch and grow in a manner that makes us better people and better citizens. So, it makes sense that as parenthood and family stability wane, all of society pays the price.
The way all of this translates into public policies that help families to thrive is another question and it’s complex. There’s room for legitimate debate. But the first step is acknowledging that it is something to which we, as a society, must attend. If we doubt, again we can simply recall the infancy narrative in the Gospel of Luke. God has made family life “good” and through family he continues his saving work in the world.
It would be an all too easy exercise to craft a list of threats to the family but perhaps the greatest danger is the sense that we ourselves are not “good” or anything more than pleasure-seeking autonomous accidents.
Are we perfect? No. Are we broken? Yes. But if Christmas reminds us of anything it should be that we each have a value beyond what some algorithm can quantify, calculate or define. Only people are capable of love, and it is love alone that provides the remedy for a wounded world. AI won’t fix what ails us. It won’t feed our souls or mend our broken hearts or provide us with a lifegiving purpose. Only love can do those things. And it accomplishes its purpose in a particularly beautiful and critical way within families, where God abides.
It’s a sacred truth worth recalling and it’s as true today as it was 2000 years ago in Bethlehem.
This article originally appeared in the December 28, 2024 edition of the Helena Independent Record.